the part that was too painful to share

There is this part
The part that was too painful to share
So I held it here, just here, in my tight hands
And it melted down to my belly round
(pain sits in your belly if you do not share)

So I held this part and it was dark
That part, was the darkest part so far
And I tried to push and it wouldn't move
I tried to speak and you couldn't hear
So I kept that part

And the darkest part was the strangest part
And the hardest part was too much,
Much too much to share
So I kept it here
I'm sorry, but I kept it here

And that part is round and it keeps things in
It keeps me from all kinds of things
And I cry at night sometimes
Replaying, just that small part
Like you recorded that part

And I try to push and I try to speak
But that part is hard so I grunt and scream
And they mess with me
Stop f***ing messing with me
Let me feel this part