The act of hiding

I catch lies
in the story
of him
in the story 
of me
(apple minded snakes and all)

I catch truth 
but the words still come
like they are held in fizzy soda pop
instead of vocal cords
('it was him, not me')

I don't like being 
the liar
the one to blame
I would rather not ask for forgiveness 
if it means I'm wrong

if forgiveness 
is the strongest superpower 
strength lies in my weakest point

so wrong is wrong 
and here I say sorry
sorry I hid
sorry I lied
sorry I was so afraid 
of what you would think 
I didn't give you a chance to think anything

sorry I am still hiding 
because I am afraid of you
afraid you will not love me
for who I really am 
(clothe me)
sorry for seeing each of you 
as a need to pretend 
instead of seeing you as a lifeline to love

I got lost in being right
stuck in the wrong song 
wrong key
(eden was there)
(promise was there)
I forgot

if sin is the act of hiding away from God
and the darkness this act creates is what creates death/ pain
and if hiding our nakedness from each other stems from this act
(every sin is found in relationship)
maybe the naming of rules / law
was an attempt to call us out
(towards him/ each other)
and instead we followed the rules 
and hid (again) behind right