sitting in the ashes of my faith

Sitting in the ashes of my faith 

I am angry

I am grief struck 

 

I want to yell to a God who shames us

But that's us

I want to yell to a God who guilts us 

But that's us

I want to yell to a God who tells us to be polite

But that is us

I want to yell to a God who dominates 

But that's us

I want to yell to a God who imprisons us 

But that is us

 

I want to yell to a God that passes out anti abortion cards to young women coming out of clinics 

But that's us

I want to yell to a God who carries hateful signs saying He Hates Fags 

But that is us

I want to yell to a God that tells young girls to not wear yoga pants

But that is us

 

I want to yell to a God that kills black men 

But that is us

I want to yell to a God that kills black women

But that is us

I want to yell to a God that kills trans women

But that is us

I want to yell to a God who creates systems to keep power in place

But that's us

 

I want to yell to a God that 

lets us 

 

I am sitting in the ashes of my faith 

And it is painful

I want to leave this place

I want to exit the desert 

I want to beg with parched lips for something new

 

I want to scream out 

REVOLUTION 

but when I scream 

no one even hears my voice

I want to beg for change 

But my voice has been silenced 

 

I am sitting in the ashes of my faith 

Please don't leave me here

 

This piece was read at a community Ash Wednesday service attended by multiple communities including Zeteo, Just Love, Harbor & Canvas in Houston.

It is also cross posted at justlovehouston.wordpress.com a blog dedicated to raising voices for #blacklivesmatter during Lent.